Press the button and the M-1000 emits one line of premium executive nonsense — read along as you go.

The M-1000 will ask about your progress, then not read your answer. This is a feature, not a bug.

List what you accomplished this year (one per line). The M-1000 will calibrate you back to the mean.

Press for a boss-style humblebrag in which all the credit lands on the M-1000.